Plunged in my dark horizon....

Saturday, December 26, 2009

if the world was the sea, then i would probably be a sand underneath, at the sea bottom, so insignificant, yet trying to find my importance. the world probably isnt as simple as we would have imagined, or at least, what i have imagined. you try to stay afloat, trying to get by your everyday, but what's the use? do you intend to do this till you die? we live our life just for once. once. and tht's how you are going to live it. i just realised how mistakes isnt the end of the world. when you look at short term, you might think that failure in academics is the end of the world, but when looking at long term, the day you lay breathless is when you really fail. your body's failed you. the feelings just different., and im just all mixed up. And all this while, i realised what a failure i was. i was just reading a book. a very good book. it taught me life. what's the definition of real hardwork. and you would realise that if you were working hard, then you're doing it the wrong way (and if you're not,then you better start doing something about yourself). what we're competing is not within ourselves, but the whole world. it's the survival of the fittest for the best jobs. what seperates you from the rest of the world. tht's what this book taught me. i hope i understand it, and do it.

Browsing through peoples' life, i guess everyone just has their own problems. you, me, everybody. so hectic. and if you think ppl are talking about you, dont waste yourself guessing their topic, cze no one bothers to even mention about yourself. i guess we should just not bother about what others think about us. life's about me, not you. seeing how people are yet so unfortunate, i can only turn a blind eye, for my cold heart tells me that the clock's ticking.

sometimes, i just wanna bury my head in my blanket, not caring about anything. but i know it's not gonna happen. studies. love. friends. family. future. career. relationships. death. MY LIFE. we have yet some many things awaiting us, but no one exactly knows how they are gonna come. tragedy? charmed? i dont really wanna care but, it's just not within my range of control.

and whenever you come to my mind, all i can say is...you're better left alone. an answer would be good. a yes or a no. but im just too tired for all of this. whr's passion when i need it in you. and i kept saying how good you were, but im just too afraid that it's going to be a big disappointment when i know you once again. No one's perfect, or at least my definition of perfect. but i still hoped for a miracle that one day, just one day, you would fit into my category. at this point of my life, i can only say how sick im tired of these things. they come and go. i've seen, i've lived. yet i cant believe im wasting myself in miraces. this feeling is just self-conflicting. i want it, yet i dont want it, cze for all i can say, im afraid of yet another disappointment. if im gonna gamble myself on you, i hope we would be on the winnings table. stupid analogy, but that's what i can think of. and sometimes, it's all for the fun, not for the heart.

the last post. it's drawing near, the end, it's coming, i can feel it.im just too tired.
P.S. mr mak, keep your comments to yourself.

Entered The Dark Horizon At [9:53 PM] Sharp.

~~|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||~~

About Me

Basic Info

About the one and only individual:D*
-The pathetic guy who would never fall in love again
-thinks he has the most perfect family in the whole wide world :)
-doesnt play dota or any game that u can name.
-For the last time IM NOT EMO!!
- simply nothing to talk. dont call me emo..*rawr* :)
- wads the definition of emo anw...
-doesnt like pop music, prefers soothing music like may classical or songs like "her diamonds", jazz may be good.
-pop songs are poop songs that are noisy instead of smelly:)no offence
Hopes*
To put my heart and soul into my studying
Loveees*
Nothing much, must 知足常乐
Hates*
Liars - cze their pants would always be on fire
the world - always trying to get out of the shit that i have brought myself upon
people who speaks vulgarities - they dont make sense in a sentence
bullies - they are merely ppl seeking attention

Contact Me

-Add me on tan_li_han@hotmail.com, but please tell me who you are when adding. tnks

Tagboard

Ur message or rules here etc =)

TALK ALL YOU WANT BUFFET!! :)

Friends

Yihung