This is my first post of the year. I've decided to continue this since I'm too lazy to create a new one, having the need to go through the procedures and stuffs. My first post is dedicated to MR Zhang, who has told me to create a blog and since i can feel his burning desire to peek at my blog, I've decided to continue blogging. However, no nonsense in this blog, not going to be crapping here. And since I'm bored to death too, i shall start blogging
A few months into the year, two months to be exact and I've already seen much. The different characters and different environment we just have to adapt. i wouldn't say how much i dislike everyone, but rather how everyone's different in their own ways, which i just can't comprehend. It's better to one more friend than one more enemy anyone. I've been feeling this strong aura of hatred around me anyway, people talking about one another. I can't help, but i sure can feel. Hopefully, everyone's not going to build these negative charges within them, and just let it go. What is hate, when you don't even know what you're hating. I feel that things should probably be clarified before jumping to conclusions. Why bother to be pissed and all when we can always have a chat and air our views openly? No one deserves to be compromised of their views, but it seems no one bothers to help one another clarify their doubts. You may hate me but i still have to say all these. If you can't listen to point of views in a positive manner, then you are never going to improve. I'm sorry, but i still have to say this, don't be offended, but, if life is going to give you criticism and you are just going to counter each and everyone of them, then you are never going to be successful. Like what the teachers said, dont bother defending yourself, or start scolding the person who criticised you, but rather thank that person for their judgements, and do something about it to imrpove yourself. If you admit other people's criticism or unpleasant remarks, it doesn't matter whether they're right or wrong, just embrace it, for what they say might be true. Air your views in a composed manner, and you will realise how it helps. No point shouting, your friends may support you, but remember, there would always be people who would look down on you.
If life gives you lemon, don't squeeze it on someone else, turn it into lemonade, and drink as though it's sweet, because for all you know, it might help you(it has anti-oxident)
my apologies who finds out this blog a little too late. but, no matter, you could probably read my previous ones.
so, tml's a new year, 1st jan 2010. a new beginning. everyone's probably waiting for the countdown.
just went to singapore river, somewhere at the merlion, it was crowded with closures here and there.
this year was quite a hard but fruitful year. all the changes, all the hardships, and all the lessons learnt through the hard way. it all happened this year. however, as i said, if i were to relive a year again, it would be this year.
they say it's the hardships that make one grow and learn, that's true in my eyes, as i've experienced it.
what've seen and what i've learnt, it's definitely not pleasant, but all so meaningful. i've seen it clean, but definitely not clear, since i've still got lot's to learn, knew things to disover.
the world ain't as simple as it turns out to be after all, and sometimes i wonder why they say it's out of the world and it aint so simple within.
firstly, i would like to thank so many people who made this year o' so meaningful. 1) wang lao shi for his guidance and his life lessons, i truly appreciated it. 2) haoyu for being a competitor and pushing me on as well as a good tablemate. 3) bingting for being a....IP mate. hehe 4) lenard fr being a "good" vice-chairman. lol 5) tingjun for all your vulgarities and a messenger between "us". no comments on this hor (you know i know can alr, and if you dont knw, tht's even better) 6) vball team for being such a "motivating team" and making me angry now and then. 7) sec ones(vball) for being such nice juniors like guan yu and zhengxiang, and yihung for being funny. 8) ccl board for giving me boring duties everytime. 9) section one for being such crazy section and makes me wanna cover my face everytime. 10) Gr for being such a good class that drives all teachers crazy 11) keith for being such a good friend who talks to me about his problems 12) kenneth for being a botak and shares with me about himself. let's own lit. let's own lit someother time and go to your hse and use your binoculars for ahemahem. haha. 13) yuki for being lame and crazy. 14) yingjie for being stupid and makes me wanna laugh everytime, just like yihung. no wonder you all are in the same class. 15) and many more who made my year so terrible. sorry if your name is not here, too tired to think anws
if there's one thing i learnt this year, it would be not trusting too much on anyone. who's there to trust? who cares anyway. there's never an easy way out in anything in this world be more flexible and not rigid. always think from another point of view. relax. yeap. tht's about it. i've got nothing more to say anyway, it's all kept within me, for me to think. gonna start another private blog to brush up my english. happy new year everyone!!! everything ends here. it depends whether i feel like telling the link to everyone bah..
and sometimes, i hope to be yet so innocent.
Waking up I see that everything is ok The first time in my life and now it's so great Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed I think about the little things that make life great I wouldn't change a thing about it This is the best feeling This innocence is brilliance I hope that it will stay This moment is perfect Please don't go away I need you now And I'll hold on to it Don't you let it pass you by I found a place so safe, not a single tear The first time in my life and now it's so clear Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere I wouldn't change a thing about it This is the best feeling it's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming It's the happiness inside that you're feeling It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming It's the happiness inside that you're feeling It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry This innocence is brilliance Makes you wanna cry This innocence is brilliance Please don't go away Cus I need you now And I'll hold on to it Don't you let it pass you by
i just woke up and had brunch. well, today's the day. let's talk about ytd first. it was kinda tiring but fun, which probably explains whhy i got up so late. woohoo, and our class won the big prize. hehe. had fun with them, though it was kinda crazy during the skit performance. but, good job everyone. danced sorry sorry by super junior. gosh, i dont think im ever gonna listen to that song again. crazy crazy experience cze i only took a few hours to know how to dance it, and had to perform it, but so did the sec ones larh. a memorable camp fire. tnks everyone.
today's orientation for sec ones. ee, i hate the cheers, give me goosebumps. what boom ji shit. and the tiu. haha. sick.. and what nanana, zz..nvm IRON (nickname) gave me this stupid video, it's damn funny, although it's stupid, cze normally stupid things are funnny. hahahahah, plse watch this when you are really concentrating, dont let other things disturb you. hehehehehehehe stupid video.
if the world was the sea, then i would probably be a sand underneath, at the sea bottom, so insignificant, yet trying to find my importance. the world probably isnt as simple as we would have imagined, or at least, what i have imagined. you try to stay afloat, trying to get by your everyday, but what's the use? do you intend to do this till you die? we live our life just for once. once. and tht's how you are going to live it. i just realised how mistakes isnt the end of the world. when you look at short term, you might think that failure in academics is the end of the world, but when looking at long term, the day you lay breathless is when you really fail. your body's failed you. the feelings just different., and im just all mixed up. And all this while, i realised what a failure i was. i was just reading a book. a very good book. it taught me life. what's the definition of real hardwork. and you would realise that if you were working hard, then you're doing it the wrong way (and if you're not,then you better start doing something about yourself). what we're competing is not within ourselves, but the whole world. it's the survival of the fittest for the best jobs. what seperates you from the rest of the world. tht's what this book taught me. i hope i understand it, and do it.
Browsing through peoples' life, i guess everyone just has their own problems. you, me, everybody. so hectic. and if you think ppl are talking about you, dont waste yourself guessing their topic, cze no one bothers to even mention about yourself. i guess we should just not bother about what others think about us. life's about me, not you. seeing how people are yet so unfortunate, i can only turn a blind eye, for my cold heart tells me that the clock's ticking.
sometimes, i just wanna bury my head in my blanket, not caring about anything. but i know it's not gonna happen. studies. love. friends. family. future. career. relationships. death. MY LIFE. we have yet some many things awaiting us, but no one exactly knows how they are gonna come. tragedy? charmed? i dont really wanna care but, it's just not within my range of control.
and whenever you come to my mind, all i can say is...you're better left alone. an answer would be good. a yes or a no. but im just too tired for all of this. whr's passion when i need it in you. and i kept saying how good you were, but im just too afraid that it's going to be a big disappointment when i know you once again. No one's perfect, or at least my definition of perfect. but i still hoped for a miracle that one day, just one day, you would fit into my category. at this point of my life, i can only say how sick im tired of these things. they come and go. i've seen, i've lived. yet i cant believe im wasting myself in miraces. this feeling is just self-conflicting. i want it, yet i dont want it, cze for all i can say, im afraid of yet another disappointment. if im gonna gamble myself on you, i hope we would be on the winnings table. stupid analogy, but that's what i can think of. and sometimes, it's all for the fun, not for the heart.
the last post. it's drawing near, the end, it's coming, i can feel it.im just too tired. P.S. mr mak, keep your comments to yourself.
it's christmas. a boring one, but actually not so luh. went to tiong first thing in the morning. we decided to go BOTANIC GARDEN. which we did. so my family decided to buy KFC and go there to for a breakfast/picnic. so, since nearest KFC is at tiong, so just went tiong lor. i thot i saw someone, but, nvm. not important. cant possibly be. reached the garden at around 8. had breakfast on the grass we a vast view of trees and the greenery. a cool cool breakfast. yeah, then decided to go Istana cze we thot it was a holiday and it would be opened, but, nope. it was not. then we nothing till at night, went for dinner at jumbo. the one at the national stadium, kallang. then went to the macs and ordered macflurry. blah blah. then went home. yupps. tht's my christmas FAG. a wonderful indeed. so tired.
and i thot i saw someone i would never wanna see ever again which i know i would eventually see someday
just came back from camp ytd.. 3d2n zz...it's not tht i dont wanna update, it's cze i cant mr mak. lol. speak for yourself man. everytime take so long to update de. it's been a tiring vball camp. very very tiring. had almost twelve hours of training and twelve hours of resting per day for two daysz had night training(s). on both days, since both days did play at night, till around 10-11 plus.. back aches, calf muscles' painful. god.totally exhausted. but it was real fun...stupid jokes, lagging ppl, and all the laughters, not forgetting all the whacks from ballls. lol. vjc ppl came and have friendly match with us.. they are uhhhhhhhh....i dont wanna say. ok larh..lol. had a "sleep by the lake" on the second night. then suddenly raining, everyone ran back in to sleep. sooo unexpected. zzzz...haix, if it didnt rain, i would've slept all the way till morning. it was real windy. LAND BREEZE. had some mosquito bites though. got back home, and sleeping on the bed is like being in a fairytale land. so comfortable. lol tired...
this show is good. very good in fact. almost ALMOST dropped tears. it's about a love story and if you havent heard of it, here it is. "love in the city" it's really touching, how difficult people in love are always hard to get together. there's always things that seperates us. great show i must say.
although the picture gives a kind of uninteresting impression, seriously, dont judge a book by it's cover. you really hav to watch this. enough said. well. if you have time, no harm just watching it though.
srry if yr comp is lagging cze of my blog or something cze there's a lot of phtos my trip to taiwan. there's a mixture of phtos and videos. finally finished this post. lemme see. i took around two days to complete this cze it's real long. but, no matter, enjoy!
taiwan airport! finally. lol. our first dinner there.. and the fruits : we are like forever eating orange for every meal, cze it's their seasonal fruit.zz...
our first hotel, finally. the plane ride is tiring. sleeeeep.
2nd day.
you have to have a look at the truck. it's funny. it has this funny noise to attract the ppl's attention so they would know tht the garbage truck is here, and it's self service, you throw yr rubbish yrself into this truck. lol.
guess whose shadow is this. lol.
some 文武庙. have ppl like 孔子 and others.
first group photo!! small group leh. so good. three family, only 13 of us. third from the left, a brilliant mother you have to respect. sshe's nice and knowledgable.
beautiful flowers. so so beautiful, like a paradise.
on a cable car ride. sweet. cant believe the place is so big.
yet another day! so fast...so, we spent most of this day climbing mountains. this is one of the stops. and, my good good driver, the man in white, third from the right. he's a very nice guy.
bullet train. though you dont feel tht the train is going fast in the inside, it's actually going at 300km/h.
chou dou fuu. lol. my experience with it. erhh. i just dont quite like the taste of the sauce, and yeah. it's smelly.
skip 4th day.
5thday, went to visit sceneries. i forgot the name of this place uh. but all still memorable. steep rocky mountains. cool. very high up.
the water and stuffs. quite nice heh. but, trust me, you wont wanna be down there swimming pigggggggggggggggggggggg. reminds me of someone big and fat. lol. but, this is made of some expensive stone. lol
my big big bus. quite big for the 13 of us. we can seat anywhr anytime.
finally reached this place called 荷兰村，but it's night time alr. buttttt..
firecrackers time!! cze the place is quite remote, we get to play with the firecrackers. quite fun uh. lol 6th day, and we woke up quite early to have a tour around the village. my first driving experience apart from gold cart!! this one can reverse somemore. lol..this is fun, i get to drive around the whole place. my eyes are weird in the photo. i think is cze of the sunlight. GLARING
babooon. big red butt. lol.
cow, kao! reallll smelly, but the ice cream was nice. mooooo. lol. this was the dairy farm.
checked out of the hotel and on our way to some whr else. you would not wanna drop down there, cze it's a one way ticket to hell. lol. it's steep. and, the travelling journey is loooooooong. lol
hotel room, finally. -.- you might wanna notice the toilet door at the right side, only the middle part is covered, which means outside ppl can see yr head and feet. lol. got the romantic feeling heh...lol. 7th day!! we went up the mountain area and went for the streets selling snacks. but, those are like small streets, quite cramp, and full of stairs. you are gonna enjoy it, but depends if you are walking up the stairs, or down the stairs.
tong luo shao!!! i feel soo...doraemon. lol. but this one is with ice cream in it. nice leh.. the dog is all by itself, biting it's own leash. very funny，牵着自己走。
aww poor but dashing soldier. they have to stand there in this position and not move for one whole hour!! they cannot afford to move lehh. tht's their job i think. NCC botak! dont you just wish to be like him. lol
ferris wheel!!! a pity we did not have a chance to go up there. only pass by it. lol, the kid. dude, your sign doesnt make you any cool-er!! zz....
taipei 101, it's night view is quite nice. all the lightings and stuffs grand hyatt hotel!!!! lol. five star lehhhhhhh. a pity the internet nneeds money. and, it's just beside taipei 101. should be quite ex uh one night
christmas trrreee....quite short. cze the ceiling also quite short.
the hotel room. quite nice uh. i just remembered tht the tv here has 50 over channels, maybe a 100. taipei 101 shopping centre! cannot buy anything uh. all branded goods. and, the shopping centre is only till 5th floor.
this is coool. people walking in all directions, including diagonally. but i just realised orchard road have, not really sure. but this one is only can walk from 5pm-11pm. i think. lol.
this is my coach again. Chan brothers travel!!! lol. the tour i took was from this company.
woohoo, we reached another theme park called 六福村 :) my bro and my mother friend's son. tht guy is soo quiet tht he barely talks. and, you dont get to see his smile everyday. the small kid taking the ride. he was real scared.....zzz...and crapped quite alot.
this is the roller coaster ride. doesnt seem like it ehh. haha, cze it actually goes all the way up vertically. lol. and this is one fast ride.
this is one of the games, where you drop vertically. free fall. fun!!
woohoo, the favourite game of all time, spinning at 360 degrees. lol. hang upside down uh. shiok. but, not really tht scary though. but it was fun.
last day!!! so we went to taipei 101 to have a look. hmms. not going to taipei 101 when you go to taiwan is like....being in winter without experiencing snow. lol
the adults buying the tickets. the phto from above, inside the building, taken from one of the window pane
phto with one of the walls in there. beautiful isnt it.
the 91th floor, the observatory outdoor area. only opened at 12noon and lucky we managed to get up there before we headed for the airport.
this is the ariel view of taipei 101 outside in the open
our last picture...awww group ptho!
sad, what a nice tour group. better than i expected.
seems crazy. so many pthos. spam alr!!
jiaqi, you better do something like this when you come back. lol.
there's still quite alot of photos though, but of cze, i cant put it all up.
it's quite a fun trip, those memories, but at the same time, i've learnt a few lessons myself from what i had experienced there. and i just realised how big the world is.
came back from tttaiiiwan. enjoyable trip, but not tht so at the same time. i learnt many things, i've lived, i've learnt. something i found out tht i dont like is the ppl there. the attitude. they just dont bother about others, likke when they collide onto you, they dont even turn around and walk away. fish. but i shall just remember the good memories and forget the bad ones. the whole tour group has been much friendly, especially our driver. many thanks to those who made my trip enjoyable. im just touched by what the driver and our tour guide has done for us, more than what they should do. didnt reallly online the past few days there cze the internet neeeds money!! but, nvm
pictures next time, 700 over pthos leh. i needa be selective... shoots. still got so many things to do. byes
TODAY. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww........so many hotel dont have comp, and even have comp, needa pay. so, finally came to a FIVE STAR hotel which has comp. it's kinda relaxing these days, been to two hot springs cze the area here is situated near the mountains, and the senery is perfect. waves, mountains, and water falls. perfect. our tour members are good. friendly, and the bus driver and tour guide are nice tooooooo. the bus driver is very very nice, going to the extend of buying for us local food and making the extra mile to stop around and give us the best backdrop for pictures. he's smart. ok, first, an update of where i left. shoots. ok, forgot liao. let's jump to the next day. errrr....it was mostly travelling, cze we were going to the dong bu of taiwan. which i dunno what dong is in english. and, we took a train from taipei down. stupid train. so slow. cannot beat the experience on bullet train. anw, yeah, then reached this holland village, a farm area. and the bus driver stopped and intro us places to buy fire crackers. yeah... it was fun. but, it was kinda late already. then, went to hot spring and sleeeeeeeeeeeep, my favourite part. lol so, here comes today. today rocks!!!!!!!!! first thing in the morning, toured the village, it's not exactly a village cze it's facilities are quite good. in fact, the room is big, the place is surrounded by mountains at every corner, and it feels as though we are in a valley. and, sooooooooooo. we rented a buggy, the golf car thing. it's biggggg and you can defintely get lost there. lucky we had our map. so, alot of animals, birds, monkey, dear, camel, and the best partttttttttttttttttt, i get to drive!!!!!!!! lol actually, you can only drive if you have a driving's licence but, WHO CARES. lol. it's funnn, hehe. you hardly get to drive in singapore except some nooob goldcarting. lol. then, my father dont let me drive, so i became my tour guide's driver on another buggy, cze the tour guide herself has one for herself. lol. yeah, it was fun. then packed and left for here. it definitely took alot of time to travel here. zzz...at around dinner time, reached this place. yeah. hot spring again!!! but before tht, we went for the night market, and tasted delicious fooooood. lol then, had this thing called the dr. fish thing, where the small fish nibble on your leg. ticklish. yeah, then sleep lor.
oh, and over here, there's this street girls selling binglang, a food tht keep drivers awake, something like coffee, and they call them xishi, cze they are pretty. lol. quite alot of them bah, and the driver occassionally stops to buy them. yeah. buttttttt. it's really becze they need it then they buy hor. dont think sick. lala. had been quite relaxin bah, and i havent been to tapei 101 YET. soon i guess. and, taiwan's big, travelling time takes up most of the trip, but the scenery is really not bad, but, i would rather sleep :) i love this trip, though i forgot most of it. lol. shall look at the pictures to refresh my memory. but, i would probably remember tht driving thing.\
ohohooh, i just remembered when jiaqi was talking to me and reminded me.hahaa, the hot spring, some places need to be naked. haha quan luo. omg. i dont dare go. lol. so use public one. hehehhe, and then this adult in our tour, go cze he just nice, never bring swimming trucks, and the kids started calling him the naked one since ytd. haha, tht was really funny....
it's just, fun....and, i've seen things from a news perspective, an inspiration i got from the greens and blues surrounding me, as well as the cold cold air.
SOoooooooo, still in taiwan, of course, second day. at this rate, i think i can go online everynight cze all the hotels should have internet access at the lobby. but, we are always changing the hotel, cze we are at different parts of this island, cant possilby camp at one place. yeah, alot of things happened today, went places to relax, play, and eat! and note tht relax is really relax with fresh air and not play :) the air here is turning hotter though idk why. but, it's just nice. the warm sun with the cold wind. it's....shiok!! haix, ok, so, first things first bah. one of the most important things. i almost lost my lithium battery which costs 70 for the camera. hehe. omg, i freaked out. zzz.. in the end it was in one of my smaller pockets of my jeans.. haix..i was really really really scared. then went to amusement park with all the roller coaster rides. 360 degree turn. woooohoo, but i think i sprained my back. the roller coaster was..uh...very fun. scary? uh, not quite larh. but, the wind going against my face was so strong tht tears was actually forced out. omg..yeah, today was fun. then went to the nightmarket. alot of ppl!! especially when today is saturday -.-. squeeze here squeeze there. haha, and i heard someone saying, better be careful or will kenna molested. haha. but, the food was nice. the hot dogs, they call it xiang chang, and uh someother stuffs:). this is a tour travel bah, along with my mother's friend's family. cze go tgt, more fun? lol. only got three family in the group. and there are no girls!!!! all boys. sucks. and everyone was like saying, if only there was at least one girl. lol. sad...haha. and the tour guide was like asking me if i have a girlfriend, and she says it's top secret, she wont tell anyone. haha, as if i will tell her. lol. everyone's friendly, nice sceneries here cze of all the hills and mountains and stuffs. ohoh, and went to watch the uh, cultural show, dance. haha, so cold, and the ppl dancing not wearing any clothes. of cze, it's guys only. but, only got one clothe cover the down there ahem. buttttt is uh..half exposed. haha. and they said tht ding zi ku is actually for man. lol eeeeeeeee..took a video larh, but can upload only after i have touched down in the homeland. actually, i also took alot of phtos. lala. aww. my back still hurts. yeah, ok, nothing bah, more adventures tml? haix, i thiink im stating down my list of happenings cze im afraid tht when im back, i've forgotten everything tht has and had happened. lol.
yet im so carefree. they say happiness comes from wtihin, as long as you know you're happy, you are happy. and you will be. this is yet so relaxing, the fresh air. the peace and quiet...a pity it's only for a mere 8 days. and im happy and enjoying myself, it's all tht matters. FOR NOW....
wooohooo, cant believe can blog in taiwan. haha. it's cold, but not freezing, but when you exhale, it's cold enough to breathe out white air. haha. idk how to describe it. it's super quite in the neighbourhood, in this hotel, but it's quite grand larh i would say, got 2 desktop and one macbook. plus free internet, and most of all, it's peaceful. i still cant believe i can blog. pictures when i come back bah.. my hands are cold, very cold and im in the lobby with no one else except probably the staff working. but it's cool, i cant believe my mum actually allows me to sit here as long as i want :)
i would hang you by my collar, with this wish, but i hope it wouldn't come true, i'm in a mix, talk to me wil ya. it's coming back, this feeling of reminiscent... a long long time.... i hate this,,, sighs..... and sometimes, i dont even know why i'm doing this when i've already gotten over you. a long long time....ago. did you regret the times we had. i did. how i wished you belonged to someone else before. and my wish, i hope i would stare into yr eyes and relive this feeling again. i cross my heart. i really dont want this, unless... thinking about the better times, i must've been out'ta my mind
the 69th post. attention ppl. going taiwan tml, dont sms me :), but dont think anyone will. but im not gonna be like kenneth, early in the morning sms make ppl wake up :) no need to show off to the whole world you going msia larh botak...
ok, probably the last post be4 i go. finsihed packing and stuffs, but my leg hurts vball training, what the, pro ppl come leh alumni. woohoo, the ball was like lightning, and the rebound sound touching the ground was like thunder. haha. play with them can kill, if it hits your face.. they super pro larh. but, nvm, i should learn from them. now my leg hurts after running around sooo much.
but, i must admit, it was super duper fun, better than playing with any other chungcheng vball members. haha. no offence. they are like.. hmms, 20, 18 years old, at their peak of their physical abilities. after army leh!!!
haix, i needa pack soon for taiwan. and, cant believe im actually sharing one luggage with my bro -.-
there are probably alot of things to bring.zzz...
it's gonnna be a long long ride.and when it's the end of others' journey, it's only where mine has just begun.there's lot's of things to do after tht. damn. i have to finish this book or i wont makeit in time.
i hope i dont get this feeling i once had when im on the plane.looking out of the plane window, thinking of you, and all the memories flow.and i thought i would get over what we once had.it's a new beginning. anything can happen, but i really dont wish to start this all overagain.it is just gonnna kill me
i just heard this song on the radio. kinda nice. but, the official MV is much better. the girl's kinda good-looking, haha, and yuki, she's better than megan fox.
sometimes, i dont even know why i'm doing this. it's probably just a rush, a split second crush and i took it for love. this can't happen, not anymore.
It’s a long way down… Bye Bye kinda makes me treasure the people around me. Sighs, this anguish inside me, for what I’ve been, a lousy person. I’ve never treasured every moment I had with who I loved. And I regret, and I can’t help but hate myself, for what I’ve done, and who I’ve been. This feeling really sucks, but I just keep getting it. If there’s one person I loved most in my family, it would be my grandmother. All these years, the support, the words had spurred me on. I would never how hard life would be without her. I would cry, but I hope with no regrets. I cant afford to lose her. And everytime the thought comes, I just feel that a part of me is being taken away, and tears, they just flow. I wanna treat her well, for every second I can be with her, I will. I just, cant control the emotions. Sighs, people live, but people die. But I just can’t take the blow. Even as im typing, im choke by the tears tht’s tearing my eyes. Iloveyou, my pillar of hope. i’m not even sure why I typed this, but, at least I get to say it before it’s too late……… Ok, let’s talk about something happy. ok this is funny, I actually said this to my senior
DAWN(*) child of GOD:D says (11:01 PM): awwww why so grumpy! anyway, i'm calling you "THE WALKING GIANT" from now on:D When life gives you lemon, turn it into lemonade, dont complain it's sour says (11:02 PM): haha whatever if i were a giant the first thing i would wanna do is crush you!!!! muahahaha
And, yeah, she is short. There’s more, but, no matter, it’s all along the same line. Sighs, and I’ve hurt my leg again. I fell down. Now there are more wounds on my leg!!!-.-
Hmms, then, this is by FYI, but first, guess the person’s name. haha a) For your info. b) Fool yuki c) Fk yuki d) Foo yuki Haha. This is funnnnnnnnn.
Credits to her who typed this, but it’s cze I told her to. Found this inspiring, and it really inspired me.
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?or saying nothing and wishing you had?I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.If you do, they might break your heart…..if you don't, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much…for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done,or could have had. What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore) What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?* People live, but people die. Good luck to yuki and Lenard. Haha. This is sooooooo funn. Hehe. One couple done, one more to go. Haha, tht “Ka and Ke” couple.
I cant really find any difference between them. 1) Both find an insult to be with each other 2) Both come from the same primary sch 3) Both live around the same area 4) Starting letter of each character are the same 5) Both likes to quarrel with each other in front of me 6) Both thinks they rocks 7) Both are f*t (haha)
Wait till someone forgets her teddy bear. Then a new relationship will be born. And then a baby will be born. Haha If you wanna know who the ppl are, it would most likely to be the first one who starts shouting at my textbox. Hehe. Sighs, unappreciative? Appreciate it. Lol.
Ok, then ytd, went for dinner. No time take pictures luh, busy eating. Haha. It’s at jumbo, and my father signed a new card which gives discount if go there eat. 20 I think.
Ohoh, and I heard this on the radio, super funny. THE PROBABILITY OF PPL LOOKING AT YOU IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE STUPID THINGS YOU DO. Haha
Quite funny uh.
im sick and tired of this. And I try and try to walk away. But, it’s just no use. Every time I look at you, and I turn away, and sometimes, I wonder if you even think of me. What’s there to think of anw. Tht face full of aggressive, and I wonder if we could return to the past. But, tht’s not possible isn’t it. Even if I want to, I cant. I cant afford it, I cant risk it, I don’t want it.
Hold all your feelings inside You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry And maybe someday We'll figure all this out Try to put an end to all our doubt Try to find a way to make things better now and Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud We'll be better off somehow You can shine a little light on everything around you Man it's good to be so warm And i don't want to wait I just want to know I just want to hear you tell me so Give it to me straight Tell it to me slow
Cause sometimes we don't really notice Just how good it can get So maybe we should start all over Start all over again
Introduce another song. It’s super nice..at least, something I can relate to.
The lyrics really makes sense for both songs, at least something tht gives me further thoughts …few lines tht makes sense
To tell you I was wrong, but you already know Believe me, I won't stop at nothing To see you, so I've started running All that I'm after is a life full of laughter As long as I'm laughing with you I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after After the life we've been through 'Cause there's no life after you Last time we talked, the night that I walked Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
You and I, right or wrong, there's no one. After this time I spent alone, It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind. Thinking about the better times, Must've been out of my mind
don't turn away
dry your eyes, dry your eyes don't be afraid but keep it all inside,
all inside when you fall apart dry your eyes,
dry your eyes life is always hard
Please hold on, its alright
Please hold on, its alright
Please hold on
Sighs, going overseas to taiwan nex week, still wondering if i should look forward to it...
The sufferings. What a day ytd with the new classmates. went iceskating. arhhhhh. ok. first timer. fell 3 times, had 4 blisters and one cut. but, tht's not the worst part. the worst part is colliding with ppl i dont know... speechless, but fun. the thing about this is, you can go very fast, but you cant stop. haha. and, wear two socks or you will end up getting blisters you cant imagine. zz.. but kinda fun larh. awww..im screaming in my bathroom. painpainpainpainapain. sighs..i feel like i've been bashed up. but at least i learnt a new skill. going out later for dinner, woooooots. yippee. maybe can take some pictures. lala.
we probably aint meant for each other. just let go. love's gone, forevr, and i m not finding it back. two is better than one;;
hihihi. so.., today went to central library to borrow some books wanted and have to share with the class at the start of sch..zz...god, i think im gonna be a book worm soon..zz.. anw, after that went to buy secondhand books. Sighs, i heard some fellow telling his parents tht he wanted new ones, not secondhand. but hey, if you're poor, you just have to admit it. you cant go around having things you cant afford, tht's what the father said bah. but, it's not that bad, they are still books, no matter new or old. if you are keen to study, even a book in it's worst state could help. so, toured bras basah then went home. and, it took me the whole afternoon. bought a few textbooks bah..
tomorrow bro's results coming out. wonder how it would go. dont want him to follow in my goddamn footsteps.dont come this sch!!!hehe. cross fingers plus toes. disappointment or excitement? wish him the best :)
sighs, and yeah, my arm's still pain. it's like some kind of bruised feeling, when you hit it, it starts to pain. weird -.- wonder if it's an infection. lol. i think it kinda swelled. AND IT'S PAIN!! sighs. hope it get's well.
according to you, im stupid im dumb, but yeah, whatever. just get me out of here. i never wish to see you again. dont meet me, not ever again. dont wanna fall for this again. im afraid i cant resist this feeling i once had. it's just gonna come back isnt it; hope not. forget you, forget me.
Made belief Just taken my flu jab ytd. kinda numb I wanted it to be on my left arm, cze I thought it would be stronger or something, but the doctor insisted on my right arm cze it would be easier for me to take the jab in my position. Zzz. Weird. Guai shushu. Lol This feeling. It’s weird. Whenever I move too much, it would have a sharp pain, then it would numb or something. BUTBUT, must reinforce tht it was not pain at all during the jab and I didn’t cry out loud or whatsoever. Lol. Why do ppl have the mindset of someone crying while taking an injection. My whole right hand is nothing but pain and numb, and now, I feel lucky to have taken it on my right hand. Heh.
Pain Pain Pain. Numb
Another song:) only liked the front part "wake up wake up" yeah, but quite soft. COOL. but this aint the original MV. the orignial is better. more...EMOTIONAL.
Tic-tic-toc-toc Tic-tic-toc-toc I know you must have had a long day Cause at six o’clock I heard you say There was something that was on your mind But you ain’t told me and it’s almost nine Now it’s nine o’clock and I thought we could talk But you ain’t givin’ it, girl Will this ever end? Girl, it’s almost ten Gotta know if you’re mad at me before Grey’s Anatomy Cause we could drag this out all night, until It's 2 in the morningGirl, what do you wanna do? Do you wanna fight? Wanna say goodnight? If you tell me you want it, this could be over Cause it's 2 in the mourning Girl, what do you wanna do? Do you wanna fight? Wanna say goodnight? If you tell me you want it This could be over Lights are out, don’t wanna wake you so, I’m creepin’ in I know you’re hurt cause baby, I’m not sleepin’ in My favorite pair of boxers that you make look so hot, girl Girl, you look asleep but I know that you’re not, girl And now it’s 12 o’clock and I thought I should talk But girl, you’re not listening Here we go again, you know I like it when You got your back to me, But now when you’re mad at me Please look at me and say goodnight It's 2 in the morning Girl, what do you wanna do? Do you wanna fight? Wanna say goodnight? If you tell me you want it, this could be over Cause it's 2 in the mourning Girl, what do you wanna do? Do you wanna fight? Wanna say goodnight? If you tell me you want it, this could be over I wanna come over, baby, turn over Girl, I’ve been laying up all night (up all night) Just waiting for your kiss goodnight (goodnight) Even if you’re mad at me (mad at me) You know we shouldn’t go to bed angry It's 2 in the morning (2 in the morning) Girl, what do you wanna do? Do you wanna fight? Wanna say goodnight? If you tell me you want it This could be over Cause it's 2 in the mourning Girl, what do you wanna do? Do you wanna fight? Wanna say goodnight? If you tell me you want it This could be over We could work it out (wake up wake up) We could work it out (get up get up) We could work it out, I wanna come over We could work it out We could work it out We could work it out, I wanna come over..
--- the lyrics are...hmms....words i cant relate? i can only feel the tune. yeah. the end, is near, for the rise of a new beginning.
If you only knew I'm hanging by a thread The web I spin for you If you only knew I'd sacrifice my beating Heart before I lose you I still hold onto the letters You returned I swear I've lived and learned [Chorus] It's 4:03 and I can't sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, if you only knew If you only knew How many times I counted All the words that wen't wrong If you only knew How I refuse to let you go, Even when you're gone I don't regret any days I Spent, nights we shared,Or letters that I sent [Chorus] It's 4:03 and I can't sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, if you only knew If you only knew I still hold onto the letters You returned You help me live and learn [Chorus] It's 4:03 and I can't sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, believe in is you I still believe in you Oh, if you only knew
--- if you only knew. a nice song, very very nice song. I pity some ppl dont appreciate!!!! but, nvm. what brings us so close, yet tears us apart. People never realise how much time they have lost until their mishaps has left a big print on them. The impact, too late. If it's time to let go, perhaps we should. No point clinging on to something beyond our reach. No one's ever too dumb to do anything. it's a matter if they want to try it or not. When all out fails, we dont. i dont, i will never. it's probably how much i've learnt for the past months, wouldnt say years. When failure comes to you, accept it, learn from it, and move forward. No point crying and getting so upset over it, cze there's nothing you can do. When you fail, you cry, but, at the same time, not accepting means losing precious time. No point. Might as well tell yourself to work harder, and start working hard. this way. though you have failed, you will understand that "hey, this is the best i've done, i've did this with no regrets". There's no limit to our competence. the only limit is our fear. To overcome our fear, ourselves, tht's the greatest challenge in all humanity. To what we will become, the unknowable. But, treasure every minute of our lives, work hard for it, and live our life to the fullest, that should be what we should be doing. What's life when you have to suffer in the future. What's fun when you cant enjoy it thoroughly when you think about yr failure in academics. No one would understand it anw. until reality comes one day and blows them all away when they are 21. Start getting ready, and you will realise, you are always one step ahead of others. I'm prepared. Always prepared. For the known, unknown, and unknowable. Never give up, never in your whole life, cze it's not wise to do so. Cry, if you must, but not more than a day. For what is beyond this setbacks, climb back up and move forward. it's time.
i dont regret any days, nights we shared, and letters i sent. if you only knew.. It's like taking one step forward and two steps back, i hope so. One step away, and two steps back to me. I'm taking this path,
it's nver enough... it's not like that for me. necessities to you might be treated as a gift for me. a gift, today, for what we have tomorrow.
It's never enough to say I'm sorry It's never enough to say I care But I'm caught between what you Wanted from me, and knowing If I give that to ya I might just disappear. Nobody wins when everyone's losing Oh, it's like One step forward and two steps back No matter what I do you're always mad And I can't change your mind, Oh, it's like Trying to turn around on a one way street I can't give you what you want And it's killing me and I, I'm starting to see Maybe we're not meant to be It's never enough to say I love you No, it's never enough to say I try It's hard to believe that's there's No way out for you and me And it seems to be, The story of our life Nobody wins when everyone's losing It's like one step forward and two steps back No matter what I do you're always mad And I can't change your mind, oh It's like trying to turn around on a One way street. I can't give You what you want and it's killing me And I, I'm starting to see That maybe we're not meant to be There's still time to turn this around Should we be building this up Instead of tearing it down But I keep thinking Maybe it's too late. It's like one step forward And two steps back, No matter what I do You're always mad And I, can't change your mind, oh It's like tryin to turn around On a one way street I can't give you what you want And it's killing me and I, I finally see, Baby that we're not meant to be
-
maybe we really aint meant to be...the memories, forgotten...
what's there left to say.
to conquer the highest mountain, to swim the deepest sea.
it's long over
there's yet so much to learn, no point holding on to what we've lost
just the guy who's never gonna taste tht sweet love
what a day perhaps, bloggging using len's laptop. gabriel's playing his wolf team, yeah, whatever. doesnt really bother me. dont even see the fun in it. lol. first of all, tnks for the gift, loved it, appreciated it. tnkstnkstnks. secret. a successful mission. first rating undercover. lol. yeah, tnks, really. tnks. i really appreciate it, though i probably dont show. sometimes, im just like this, i feel it myself, but i just dont express it. but, yeah, one big tnks for your effort. today was kinda....weird. omg, someone owes me a favour. tell me go fetch her friends in the rain, in the end the friends ran across themselves, make me wet for nothing. omg. omg. crap. but, nvm. went parkway after training. jiaolian. zzzz....f here and there. lala. not my business anw. haix, i dont think im sleeping tonight, and heard mr choo's coming tml.
throw it away, forget ytd. it just seems so peaceful at night, at least with my earpiece on. upstair's crazy. a new beginning there? perhaps. ppl count me lucky, i just thing it's a challenge to outdo myself.
lala, cant use blogger on another comp. zz... cant blog for quite some time. yay..bought something i wanted wooohoooo. finally. no one's happy for me anw. so, i shall just high about it myself. lalala. bored at home. nothing to say.lala
And sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing… Haix, those ppl really spoiled my mood… I don’t blame them. I blame myself for not settling myself in such a situation. People find it a joke, but I think it simply reflects me. Why was I so agitated, so frustrated? Why didn’t I keep my cool? It may seem stupid to be bothered over such people, but, it’s just that, when you go out in the society, we meet such people, and this is how I’m going to react? So disappointed with myself. Why couldn’t I just keep my cool. haix…what a loser I’ve been. The agony…I shall just take this as a learning lesson. Keep your cool no matter what. Violence aint gonna solve the problem. Take a step back while people are fighting and you would find yrself in a better position. After a night of thoughts, I just couldn’t sleep, for what I’ve done, for who I’ve been, and for how I’ve been. It’s never gonna happen again. I swear, never. Take things slowly, take a deep breath…and let it out. Plan ahead of you. Don’t let their pace affect you in whatever you do. Plan for corners, aim, be in control. Be in control. We only land onto earth once and if you aren’t gonna make the best out of it, then you’re better off suicide. Stop to care for others? No can do. Srry for not being a Christian.
hey ppl.. quite a tiring but "fun" day perhaps. went to vjc to buy uniform and stuffs, books totally diff from sec schs so cant use bro's books. nvm, played some ORIETATION GAMES and in the end, had to do forfeit. zzz...dude, i WON, AND I HAD TO DO, with another girl, unfortunately, hope they did not take down tht video-.- stupid lame idiot embarrassing. anw, so i was wondering, if victoria integrated programe is called VIP, then what if raffles came up with a programme too? RIP? lol. hehe. then, had tea reception and went home, but idk how to wear tht belt. =.= and the pe pants is short.zz.. clarrisa the emcee. hehe. too nervous then forgot the script. nvm larh. even the principal encouraged you. everyone is bound to make mistakes anyway dont take it to heart. nice experience though overall, seniors are high, gained acceptance and fame on the first day for all the wrong reasons. yeah. whatever.
this may seem a little exaggerated, but believe me, it's not the least untrue at all, until you have seen it. urgh. camp. -.- ccl camp. TOILET. yucks. pukes vomits. wonder how the ppl are gonna salvage tht situation. if you want a vague idea of it. well... it's a toilet, super stinky, with bugs and some creatures you can't see lying around, grasses all over the floor mixed with mud and sand, and over you, you never know if a lizard is gonna drop on you when you bathe. eewww....worst bathe i had, although no lizard dropped on me... zzz....arhhh..horror. back aching. arms wobbly.
zzz...games..urh....boring? nightwalk.....dumb and boring? waited for 2 hrs until 2AM to be scared.=.=
zzzzz.... feel like dozing off right now.. didnt even sleep the whole night, and someone even dao-ed my sms, and replied at 5 in the morning when i sms-ed at 4. so, nightwalk ended at 2 plus and lights out at 3. but, in the end, cze bathe, then refreshed, cant even sleep at all. everyone was busy snoring away, while i just sat outside the room watching trees and views. it's so dark, but yet so quiet. peace, at least. but, it isnt really cze i bathe so i cant sleep. someone beside me was breathing in my face. omg=.= and, everyone was snoring so loudly tht i just felt like smacking their faces.zzz... so, stayed up the whole night, didnt even catch a wink. tried, but can't. while ppl are busy sleeping, im busy watching the hands on my watch go by... zz....cold hard floor. cant believe it, i would rather fight with the gangsters to go to the other chalet and get to sleep on the bed.arh... nvm, i should probably appreciate what ppl have done for us.... omg, the toilet - if this is gonna be like the army as mr yee said, i would suicide man. lala...zzzz...went vball after tht, at least better than staying there..eew... jw wanted to go at first, but half way say father dun let.zz.. but, at least i managed to crawl back to cchms. lala, head's spinning. eyes gonna close, but still managed to play. hehe zzz....i think im gonna sleep for the hrs i should have slept 12 hrs ago.=.= arhhhhh.. what an experience man....dead beat. throw me into a pit larhhh someone. it's probably cleaner down there. i think im gonna get nightmares from it... sighs, you will never understand, just trying to keep myself awake by crapping. lala here's a photo i took just as my hp no batt. lala, in the night, alone, in the darkness, with nature, and mosquitoes, i managed to get it. woohoooooo the night is so lonely, yet so perfect for me, the tinted light from street lamps. so quiet, once in a life time peace...
but overall, i have to appreciate what the S3 have done larh..it's no an easy job.. what a PLEASANT exeperience, wont wanna be in tht position again. yingjie, you watch out.. hehe. smack you.
--------------------------------------------- recollect all thoughts and lock them up inside. you'll never see this part of me again. get my drift? just let it go. no use holding on to what you know will end someday, tragically. tmr's the start of my new life. remember the barrier, the last defence. no one would ever cross tht boundary... right the wrongs, this is the last time im gonna be talking so much crap. don my new uniform, my new life.
i see sunset in your eyes dont forget the sunrise. it makes everything feel better
wasted a day going out with k.k couple and some guy i dont know. at least i did something meaningful :) happy b'day MAN. shit. bought two candles short. nvm. woohoo. felt great. not gonna go out to library with ppl anymore. zz....SO condusive (not). =.= lala. rather lone it. it's probably better that way. no feelings no thoughts for others. who bothers anyway. love is one thing i will never get
certainly came as a double blow. lost a friend, it's just, so uncertain. cant believe it's getting so distant. sighs, what's it gonna be like.
life's just unpredictable. sometimes what we dont want just keeps coming towards us, and what we want just seems to so far away. FAITH. AFFINITY. DESTINY. tht's all i can say. can't believe its coming to an end. though there's nothing left to prove. it's up to you to decide if you want a salvation. hope you wont regret it. stop procrastinating cze the day you wake up from yr denials, you will probably live to regret it. i dont really care, hardships just keep pouring in. doesnt really matter if the pain of losing adds to the sufferings. who bothers, who cares. if you believe in it. then go for it. before.... enough said. it's either an end, or an end for a new beginning. at least tht's what i hope for.
anw. dad's bday coming soon. think he had forgotten about it himself since he is busy. lol weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
its coming to an end. but i really dont wish to regret this. so many things to say yet no opportunity to do it. haix, but all i wanna say is just tht simple word, "sorry" sighsighssighs. go out some other day? there's no whr to hide anyway. just hope it isnt too late for this. haix
let's probably just start with ytd, went out to play last night with my little bro, and when i say little, its not his size, its his immature little brain. so, we were in the lift, when he decided to bloody hell open tht stupid life door. and he went "see, i can open the door" and he did, when the lift was still moving! and suddenly, the lift stopped. totally. half way, and it went dark. crap. but then, we pressed a button and it continued. omfg. he simply had to just do it for amusement. thinks he's the smartest in the family when he is the youngest. urgh. sometimes i wonder if he is primary 6 or six years old. cant believe he is tht childish. ............................................... anw, today went out first thing in the morning to vivo with tht botak. chose a movie called "love happens" and watched it. and it totally sucked, draggy, boring, nothing in relation to its topic. but, learnt some phrases from it.
chapter one, look at things from a new perspective.
chapter two, happiness is a state of mind. spend 3-5 minutes smiling a day and you will get it
chapter 3, fear is a state of mind, overcome it.
chapter 4, recovery is for acceptance.
chapter 5,when one thing ends, something else begins. look at a new chapter of life
howver, ghost of his girlfriend's past is probably much better than this. nothing really in vivo, except saw cameras which i'm probably gonna buy. and finally, be4 going home, saw someone. probably not worth mentioning dont really care anw. why would anyone want to go vivo, unless you have at least 100 bucks in yr pocket window shpping? waste of time. never gonna watch tht movie again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------- so, the rain's pouring and thunder's roaring. what a suckish morning and afternoon another boring day, like what it is gonna be for the rest of the hols. lalala.
About the one and only individual:D*
-The pathetic guy who would never fall in love again
-thinks he has the most perfect family in the whole wide world :)
-doesnt play dota or any game that u can name. -For the last time IM NOT EMO!!
- simply nothing to talk. dont call me emo..*rawr* :)
- wads the definition of emo anw...
-doesnt like pop music, prefers soothing music like may classical or songs like "her diamonds", jazz may be good.
-pop songs are poop songs that are noisy instead of smelly:)no offence Hopes*
To put my heart and soul into my studying Loveees*
Nothing much, must 知足常乐 Hates*
Liars - cze their pants would always be on fire
the world - always trying to get out of the shit that i have brought myself upon
people who speaks vulgarities - they dont make sense in a sentence
bullies - they are merely ppl seeking attention
Contact Me
-Add me on tan_li_han@hotmail.com, but please tell me who you are when adding. tnks
